Yep… It’s needed.
Firstly, I have had the day from hell. I woke up knowing it was going to be a bad one, but had no idea how vile it was going to be.
So what’s a girl to do?
Answer: skip the gym, skip dinner and drink a bottle (and a bit more) of wine. Also, Facebook stalk the hottest man on the planet. And then, of course, blog about it.
I should also probably apologise to all my friends and family who are linked to me on Facebook as their feed is probably full of Brock now too.
This is why I need to apologise…Brock… I am sorry. I have quite literally “liked” everything in your news feed. That makes me a stalker. I promise I am not. I live in Dubai so you’re perfectly safe.
Here’s the thing people…
Brock is 6ft7inches tall. As a ridiculously tall chick (ok, only 6ft but seriously you’d think I was a circus freak some days by the way people react to my height) it’s rare that I see anyone who has a distinct height advantage. He also weighs more than me (mine is fat and his is muscle, obviously) which again is a rarity. So just putting those two facts together makes him attractive already.
Then add that he can sing. I have done all those “shrinky” tests that prove I am audio driven. Oh, did I forget to say that he also plays the guitar? Another apparent weakness of mine.
Add that he is a horse fan and rides regularly. For some reason I have a “thing” about men who can ride horses. I may have a secret (or not so secret) issue with Cowboys. Whatevs.
Wait… Then there is the ability to ride motorbikes. And he has a truck. Yep…. I am well rounded.
Did I mention that he is good with kids?
And, for the finale (maybe… I could have more wine-valid points), he does charitable work. For those who know the Year From Hell that I went through working for a charity, you will know how important that is to me.
Did I have a point? I think I have forgotten again. Let me pour another glass and review what I have written so far……
Nope. I have forgotten. It’s ok though. I have wine.
So in conclusion… Brock, I apologise profusely and hope that there is someone who has stalked you more than I have today. However, your goofy dancing and play time with your nephew (especially the high fiving) has really alleviated my mood. I miss my nephew so much. So thank you. And sorry. Again.
Oh, and the other thing… You (Brock, in case anyone gets confused) have actually helped me. That whole arm curling cable exercise thingie that you posted a video of, totally reminds me of what my trainer was showing me the other day. He would love you. He doesn’t love me so much. I get confused too easily.
I will now not look like a complete ass in the gym, and maybe next time I drunk post or blog, I won’t be the fat drunk chick in Dubai. I will be the exercise fanatic who is enjoying improving her health and being inspired by videos like that, rather than initially just enjoying the view.
I will totally suggest you as my gyms next fitness expert though. I don’t like the dude they have lined up at the moment. He looks mean.
And, if you ever make it to Dubai (again, Brock), I will ask around for all that hiking stuff to do (can you hike sand dunes?) and then offer (selflessly I may add) to be a food and beverage guide of our awesome city.
I am going to pass out very shortly. May my liver and my head have mercy on me tomorrow.
Wait! I have remembered two other points:
His hair (Brock, in case you good people are more drunk than I am) is amazing. I think he single handily is responsible for “ManBunMonday” on Instagram.
Oh, and he is pretty. Very pretty. In a handsome way. Not a girlie way. Which is quite a feat given the amazing hair.
**Update: I apologise to his mother too. Turns out this lovely looking boy is only 22. Ouch.
***UPDATE, again: The traffic to this post is huge. So, just to update, he was born in 1991 which makes him 25 currently. It’s less ouchy than 22 but still not great!
Thanks everyone for reading and making this my most popular post!
12 Comments Add yours
This was absolutely hilarious to read, I can’t relate for the simple fact that while I do own a Facebook account I rarely post anything at all, never check others posts or anything. I saw Brock on a TV show and was curious, so as all others do ( I am completely assuming) I went to IMDB, found his name and Google searched it. He is definitely an attractive man but I would avoid him only because he’s just so HUGE! My apologies if I offend. But this was definitely the chuckle I needed today!
Thanks for the comment! I’m glad I could make you chuckle! I have to say, it makes me smile when I read back over it… Mostly because I have no recollection of writing most of it!!!
Oh my gosh!! A couple weeks ago my cousin sent me a video of him playing with his hair.. I didn’t think this guy was real! 😉 he is super gorgeous and now I feel like a creeper for being 12 years older than him! He is like Greek god perfection. An honor only a few men posses… Gerard Butler in 300 I’m looking at you! I’m only 5’4 but I love a nice tall man too 😉
This is the best blog post I have EVER read!
Randomly stumbled upon your blog while googling Brock. As his mother.. No need to apologize.. He’s a very good looking man, I’m glad the rest of the world is noticing my boy..;) thanks for the laugh
I am glad I can amuse! I promise I rarely drink that much, and am 99% sure I have run out of things to say now!! Thank you 😊
*So sorry for my bad gramatic, I didn’t noticed it.
Lol , Dear Blondie! Brocky is so awesome, I’d wish I could find a man like him, a husband like him. He just a angel on earth. And I have a issue with cowboys too, you’re not alone in this business hahahahaha
Step away from the wine!!! Lol, you do make me laugh, cause I can so be in your head at times like this… Know exactly how you got to this… Thank you, had a right old giggle…