Oh my land, I just want to give this poor man a giant hug.

I also want to give him some advice.

Which I will do, after an explanation for all of you non-Dubai people!

#SaveNeil (which is how everyone is referring to you, btw)  is a guy who lives in Dubai, and who was dating a girl for 2.5yrs.  We don’t know her name so she is being referred to as Anonymous African Lady (yes… that is really what the online community is referring to her as).  “Anonymous” is annoying to type so I am going to abbreviate it to AAL.

So, AAL called into the Kris Fade Show on Virgin Radio Dubai yesterday.  Kris and his team were having a phone-in about the best Valentine’s Day gifts you had received.  AAL had been given AED 48,000 (approx US $13,000) of Louboutin shoes.  They are the ones with the red soles, for those of you who know less than I do.  I am sorry to say, these particular ones look like proper stripper shoes (look here).

On top of this, she announced that for her birthday, she was given a Porsche 911.  Fancy sports car, for those of you who know less than I do.  I wonder if it was red to match the shoes?

And then, just to cap it all off, she was asked that if her man lost all his money, if she would still be with him.  She basically didn’t know.

If all of that wasn’t funny and horrific enough to listen to, we then discovered that her man, #SaveNeil was listening because he then called into the show.  It was really quite hard to hear.  Whether or not you could hear the shock and sadness in his voice, it’s not comfortable to hear someone who has just discovered their partner is a gold-digger.

Don’t believe me?  Listen here!

Today there was an update, and it’s over.  If you want to listen to the whole convo, click here.  It’s not easy listening though.

#SaveNeil was due to propose this weekend at the Burj Al-Arab.  Poor, poor man.  So now the team at Virgin are taking him out to get drunk tonight.  Good plan!

Will we hear back from her?  I actually hope not.

So, here are some of my other thoughts and advice for #SaveNeil:

1.  Go and get good and drunk.  Party hard.  Get laid… a lot.  Get it out of your system as quickly as she will move onto the next walking wallet.

2.  Dubai is full of beautiful women.  Next time pick one with a career and/or a brain too.  This isn’t still a fail safe, but trust me, it’s a step forward.

3.  The girl who argues about paying the check on your first date, insisting to split it, is not going to be after your money.  Nor is the girl who won’t accept a lavish gift because it embarrasses her.  If she can buy her own dinner, and if she wants those Chanel sunnies and saves for them or can afford them herself, she’s the kind of normal person you should meet.

4.  Lie.  Lie a lot.  Do not tell people who you are or what you do.  Not for good, but for the initial meeting(s).  Go to cheaper brunches and bars.  If you stick to only the high end places, you are going to meet high end tossers all the time.

5.  Don’t take the car back (unless it’s in your name) because that would be ungracious and you sound like you’re a better man than that.  Which brings me onto…

6.  Do not allow your moral integrity to be lowered because of this experience.  She is not worth it, no matter how much it hurts right now.  You will see this REALLY soon.

7.  Remember that this is actually a lucky escape.  Now you get to meet someone and experience real true and pure love.

8.  Smile and be open.  As one door closes, another opens.  You have no idea what is waiting around the corner to bring you the happiness every human being deserves.

Now, I have made a fair amount of assumptions about #SaveNeil there, but mostly they are honed from having met men like him over and over again in Dubai.  Not because I am a gold digger (chance would be a fine thing – I am not the right shape!!) but because I am always the nice ‘homely’ girl they can talk to about their beautiful and exotic bitch girlfriends/wives.

Here is one final thought for #SaveNeil for when he is out tonight: Perhaps don’t admit to being #SaveNeil but nominate another friend to have that ‘honour’. You know the one… the one who is the “swinging dick” of the group.  The one who needs that attention and will absolutely feed off it.  As long as his voice is vaguely like yours, of course!!  Go and just watch people’s reaction to “you”.  It will be an interesting social experiment.

One last random thought: She is now single.  I am guessing that she will be homeless.  And probably, looking for a job.  I really hope that prospective employers do not listen to Virgin and do not recognise her voice.  Well, maybe I do a little bit.  Girls like her get away with so much and that it really pisses me off.  It might be nice to hear that one of them didn’t.

Mom: Ek is baie jammer as ek ongeskuk klink in van die dinge wat ek se.  Hoop ek sit nie jou af om verder te lees en my te vlog nei.  Baie liefde vir jou en Pa xxx