I spent yesterday (aherm, last week) binge watching trash tv. It’s my guilty pleasure. I don’t watch things that make me think, or things that make me smart. I watch pure rubbish. And I am very happy with that.
However, yesterday everyone seemed to be getting engaged.
(Skip this if you don’t want spoilers… Although in fairness, I am catching up on older tv shows (or rewatching things I’ve seen a hundred times!) so you probably already know these characters go through this!)
Jane the Virgin: Rogilio proposed to Xiomara.
He had planned to propose at her birthday party in a typically lavish Rogelio style, but she screws that up by tottering off to work that night. So instead of being mad, he pitches up to be supportive and then proposes to her backstage. Much more Xo’s style.
Gilmore Girls: Max proposed to Lorelai.
After initially suggesting marriage to stop an argument they were having, he then has another stab at it over the phone, after she has told him basically her vision of proposals. Interesting. Nothing more is said about it… Until she walks into work and finds 1,000 yellow daisies have been delivered. She calls him and he gives it yet another shot. She doesn’t reply for a couple of days and then says yes. Ring is received a couple of days after that.
Outlanders: Jamie kind of sort of proposed to Claire.
She had to marry him so the evil Captain Jack Randal can’t haul her in for questioning. Jamie is the only age appropriate hottie around. It’s all agreed. Then they get married and he has her ring made out of the key to his castle thing which is super sweet.
Nashville: Deacon proposed to Rayna.
After huffing off in a jealous strop, Rayna finds him on “their” bridge. He apologised for being a jackass. She accepts. Then he proposes and she accepts. I really was disappointed with this one. You could have done so much lovely stuff with this proposal, but no.
This, naturally, got me thinking about people I know who have gotten engaged… and how many stories I don’t know.
My sister’s for example. I have no idea. This is something that will be remedied when she is back from her holiday. She’s so blasé and matter of fact though that I am not entirely sure she would remember.
I think my mother wins for the least romantic proposal ever! My father was talking to his friends in a pub and debating whether to buy a new car or an engagement ring. She later asked if he had been joking. He said no, and that was pretty much that.
Then there is a friend whose other half wrote out little notes for her to read about what he wanted their future to look like and at the end of her reading through them, got down on one knee and asked her. She said yes. They then told people because no one at all apart from the dude who made the (absolutely perfect for her) ring knew what he was planning.
On the flip side to that, there is the guy I knew that proposed in front of HIS entire huge Latino family. She was mortified. Apparently she would have died a death had it been with her (much smaller) English family too. She said yes because she had no other option at that point. She would have said yes anyway, but she apparently felt like she couldn’t react in a natural way because of the audience.
I don’t know why I am rambling on really. It just got me thinking about how something perfect for some people would be absolute hell for others. No chance I would accept my father’s version of a proposal, but then again, being surrounded by 1,000 of my favourite flowers sounds so cringy.
The conclusion I draw is that I feel sorry for guys. It’s such a big part of a girls life story that they really need not to mess it up. This is a story to share with your friends and family, and with your children and grandchildren. There is a lot of pressure on them, including not knowing 100% certainly what the answer will be.
I don’t know what my version of perfect would be. I was thinking about it when I couldn’t sleep last night, and I just couldn’t decide. Hopefully, when the time comes, the asker will know me better than I know myself and give me a story that I can tell with pride and maybe a few little tears of happiness too!