My Twitter bio states that I am “a wannabe computer geek but lacking all necessary skills” and never has this been as well highlighted to me as in the last couple of days.

I bought myself a new little laptop.  Its one of these new fangled note-pads or whatever.  It is a Packard Bell.  It is running with Windows 7.  It is shit.

I did a bunch of (what now appears to be failed) research and picked a cute little computer thing that said it did everything that I needed it to.

Admittedly, I don’t need to do much with it, but here’s the thing… it doesn’t actually run itself in a very orderly fashion. 

The instruction manual, which for once I read cover to cover, states that you have to run a programme to save the factory settings in case anything ever goes wrong.  Great.  Just pop a dvd disc into the drive and off you go.

I don’t have a DVD drive.  None of these teeny little computers do.

Ok.  So off I go and buy me a little dvd drive.  Not as expensive as I thought, and at least I can watch DVDs until I get myself sorted out with cable.

I open the box and the piece of paper that comes with it tells me how to plug it in.  Awesome!  I had figured that much out but it is always good to know that you have it right! 

 Then I see the big bold letters at the bottom that warn me to read the operation manual before usage.  Ok I think, I can do that.  Errrr… no I can’t.  I can’t because the manual is on a disc.  In order to play the disc I need to put it in the damn drive. 

Am I missing the point here?!

So I put the disc in and had a short read (two full manuals in one day seemed a little like over kill), and set off again.  I successfully saved to dvd the whole thing.  I have no idea how or what, but the manual (paper version for the computer) told me how so it must be right, right?!

I then went on to blog, and play on the internet, and look at photos and the such, and it all seemed to be working rather well, until I wanted to download some dvds onto the evil little machine (previously known as “cute little computer thing”).

The sodding stupid evil little computer can’t run Windows Media because it is only Windows 7 Starter. 

WHAT???

Basically it has only as much of the Windows 7 programme as you need to make the thing run on basic function.  In order to make the Windows Media programme actually work and, for example, play a DVD is to upgrade which of course you need to BUY.

I am so, completely and utterly fucked off with the whole thing now.  For the money it is going to cost to get this running, and not forgetting the cost of the dvd bit too, I might as well have just bought a full sized lap top and got the computer geeks in the shop to set the whole thing up.

I hate computers.

I would at this point like to thank the real computer geek who has helped me setting the sodding evil little computer thing up and running to this point.  I defo could not have done it without his kind and very patient help!!

UPDATE:  I managed to download a dvd, but can not make the stupid thing play.  I officially give up.